Happy Birthday

This time last year was hard for me because it would've been or darn near close to my baby's first birthday. Today, I am smiling because I know that my baby is in heaven looking down at it's cousin because he turned 14 and it's Grandma because she turned 56. I am not crying this time and it feels good. I know that I am better than what I was last year. I just really can't wait to get pregnant again. I know that I will in time, it's just that I am a bit impatient that's all. April 4th is when we go to the doctor to see what steps we need to take in order to get me pregnant again. I am thinking that the doctor should just give me Clomid (a fertility drug) and see how that goes. I have heard that there's wicked side effects, but I am ready for them. I have taken drugs that leave a metallic taste in my mouth, make me become an insomniac, and there's one that I forgot to take food with it, and boy did it kick my butt in a bad way! So, bring on side effects!! There's nothing and I do repeat nothing that can bring me down. One thing can bring me down. And that is the doctor telling me that I can't concieve again. I don't want to think about that right now. If that's the case though, James and I will adopt. I hate to sound selfish, but I want a child that James and I made together. Does that sound so bad? I am going to be writing on here more often to talk about the journey that James and I will go through and how it's affecting us as a couple. I just hope and pray that this will bring us even closer than we are now. Goodness, when I thought that I had to have my gallbladder removed, he was there for me, when it turned out it was just H-Pylori, he was there for me, when I had my scope done (even though he had to work), he was there for me. Every now and then I forget that I have an awesome husband, but then when things happen to me, it reminds me that indeed I do have an awesome husband and I couldn't thank God more! Until the next post, have a great Saturday and God bless!