Sometimes....

Today is Labor Day, September 7 and I haven't written on here since August so I thought that I would enlighten or just write on here to amuse myself or whomever reads this.

Sometimes I wish that I could turn back time and do things differently.
These are what I wish I could have done while I was in college. I wish that I could have majored in Nursing instead of English. Did something more productive while I was in college (besides being a sorority for two semesters). Spoke my mind when I was put down instead of hiding behind my shadow. I wish that I went out more. I don't mean drinking every night, but at least go dancing with my friends and meeting more people. Going to more sporting events like football, basketball (especially basketball), soccer, and track.

Sometimes I wish that I can be more outspoken.
I know that I have mentioned that I wish that I could've spoke my mind while I was in college, but when I am at work, I tend to clam-up and not say anything when someone expects me to do so much when there are others out there that can do the exact same thing that I can do but choose not to because I am the one that always does it (does that make sense?). I just realized that I made a run-on sentence. Gosh, being an English major always seems to catch up with me and right now, it just did.

Sometimes I wish that I could be happy with what I look like.
James and I have officially started our infamous "diet" today. I want to lose weight. When I was pregnant, I had to do a physical and when they weighed me, I weighed 253 pounds!!! I couldn't believe it! 253 pounds!!! I should be 153 pounds not 253!! I told James that I would love to weigh 153 again. Actually, the smallest I have been was 145 when I was in high school. James has always said that he loves me for who am and not what my weight is, but deep inside, I just want to be the way I used to be...be in high school that is.

Sometimes I wish I could get pregnant again...NOW!
When I was pregnant, I was so happy and excited that I was carrying something inside of me that James and I made together and when I found out that I miscarried almost a month ago, it ripped me apart. I am finally done bleeding and a part of me wishes that James and I can start again with trying to get pregnant regardless of what the doctor told me to do (he told me to wait a couple of cycles before trying). Then again, right now isn't a good time for me to be pregnant. We have so many bills and me being pregnant again would only make it a little worse. Then again, James and I do have insurance so who really knows?

Since I am in the "sometimes" mode, I thought that I would put lyrics from a song called "Sometimes" by Britney Spears. Granted it's not one of my favorites, but I just thought that I would put some of the lyrics that include my theme word of the day.
Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

I am done with my "sometimes" blog. So until the next time I write on here, have a good Labor Day, good week, and God Bless!